The Cave

My Apocalypsis Cave,
home of the Beloved Disciple,
St. John the Divine.

Adoration

Dream as if you'll live forever;
live as if you'll die tomorrow.

Jessalilbit

OK, I hate to admit this, but, um, I really like 50 cent's new song! Its the trashiest song on the radio, and wait, aren't they all, but, oh-I still like it-his voice has a really relaxing quality. Yes- that's it-its relaxing-thats all. It iiiiiiis-Holly you'll agree with me right? Admit it! Please give me some smidgen of reason to hang onto... Holenka? Yah there? Help! I'm getting sucked in, or should I say, down! HAHA-NOOOoooo... ;) Plus, this picture should be illegal, don't you agree?

PRO-LIFE

The Zohar, the main text of Jewish mysticism, says that people who cause fetuses (fetus: little one, in Latin) to be destroyed in the womb "drive away the Divine Presence from the world." Rekhem, the Hebrew word for "uterus," comes from the same root as the word rakhamim, "compassion."

Away Message

Shekinah685: i want a poolside lounge chair, my own little professor o'herron or j-ski right now, or if i could have anyone here, john paul, albert einstein and gandhi, and my own little adoration chapel, and some really good literature and anne sexton poetry, and Holly and maria and a waterfall and a sunset and the eucahrist all infused into one endless drink that i can bottle, call eternity and feel it warm like deep red wine from macedonia and cools like aquafina to drink down right now...

More A. S.

An Obsessive Combination Of Onotological Inscape, Trickery And Love

Busy, with an idea for a code, I write
signals hurrying from left to right,
or right to left, by obscure routes,
for my own reasons; taking a word like writes
down tiers of tries until its secret rites
make sense; or until, suddenly, RATS
can amazingly and funnily become STAR
and right to left that small star
is mine, for my own liking, to stare
its five lucky pins inside out, to store
forever kindly, as if it were a star
I touched and a miracle I really wrote.


***************

This reminds me of yesterday,
when I went to the beach,
And curiously,
Inspiration comes in moments when fate is cruel,
and you find the only pencil you have,
is made to paint your eyes.

But you use it, anyway.

;) -Sothanma

Juan de la Cruz

"Mine are the heavens and mine is the earth.
Mine are the nations,
the just are mine,
and mine the sinners.
The angels are mine,
and the Mother of God,
and all things are mine;
and God himself is mine and for me,
because Christ is mine and all for me.

What do you ask, then, and seek, my soul?
Yours is all of this, and all is for you."

Getchyer own blog?!

Notice how it says this in the upper right hand corner? I thought that was not very nice of them...it seems like its being said harshly, "Get your own blog, get a life, get off my lawn." Seems quite mean. It just gave me a weird mental image of a mean old man with guard dogs and "No trespassing" signs. And next blog, like, next stop, turn page, nothing interesting here, at all. Really killin' the self-esteem over here, Mr. CEO Blogspot.com. More Anne Sexton poems ahead!

Charity is the form, mover, mother, and root of all virtues.

A. S.

When man,
enters woman,
like the surf biting the shore,
again and again,
and the woman opens her mouth with pleasure
and her teeth gleam
like the alphabet,
Logos appears milking a star,
and the man
inside of woman
ties a knot
so that they will
never again be separate
and the woman
climbs into a flower
and swallows its stem
and Logos appears
and unleashes their rivers.

This man,
this woman
with their double hunger,
have tried to reach through
the curtain of God
and briefly they have,
though God
in His perversity
unties the knot.

06/24/05

Lie upon the sand.
Spread your arms, legs, fingers and thoughts.
They say the earth is spinning, spinning-but I don't believe it now.


There are few things that don't make me want to puke-
God and Literature are two.

Insomnia

...I can't imagine what its like to go to bed ... and actually fall asleep ... No, I'm not really exagerrating ... Just wish I could be asleep right now... Aaaaah, sleep ... Illusive dream, Serenity... where are you?

Unwanted Children? This should be an oxymoron...

Jeremiah (decided to rename you): Please, let's not bring human beings into this world by accident -- and then abandon them at an adoption house, or grudgingly decide to rear your child saliently aware of the ultimate "sacrifice" you're making! Unwanted children most often grow up into unwanted adults -- they become a menace to society because of their pathologies or criminal behaviors.

Sophia: Jerry! No! What a horrible, horrible way to look at human life! Some of the most UN-menacing people ever born were "unwanted" as you put it. They perhaps have the MOST to contribute, because they know better than any of us what it is we must become! it is the unwanted who can prove to the world WHY they should be wanted!

Jerry: ... there are so many THINGS we cannot control! But for all those things, should I just jump to an extreme conclusion that SOME OTHER ENTITY is controlling all this? Why can I not just subscribe to the more plausible, the more logical idea that the Universe functions on a set of laws and principles

Sophia: What make you presumptiously assume that it is extreme conclusion that some other entity does control all the things which men cannot... This is inherent in the concept of order and law. If such things exist- logic, order, law, principle... it is an unsteady assumption of yours that these things can exist distinct from a dynamic intelligence. Its way more extreme to conclude that NO other determining Thing exist EXCEPT law and principles. It is not more logical to say the universe functions solely on laws and principles. Yes, such laws exist. But you presume, on BLIND faith, that the controlling force, IT, the life principle, is a non-intelligent principle with forseeing, dynamic power... This is not logical at all. You can just subscribe to that, as you obviously do, but it is very unreasonable indeed.

Define SEX!

Jerry: Sex is another one of our instruments for pleasure, and it should be rightly seen that way. It does not NECESSARILY (thought it can) need to result in reproduction and child-birth.

Sophia: Oh gosh...Ok. This is not a spiritual thing AT ALL. Look at it from a purely natural perspective. What does sex consist of? BY nature's definition: not ONE, but TWO things ensue (unless there are things going wrong): pleasure (union) and procreation! It is only through TAMPERING WITH NATURE that reproduction is prevented! Sorry, but men seem to be the only "species" who are unfit to handle their offspring. Only lower animals can handle it...

Jerry: Why does seeking God -- that which you believe to be ultimate happiness, complete bliss, perfect repose, and unending joy -- have to involve you torturing your human self, depriving your body and your mind, abstaining from all honorable joy and happiness? Can we not find God in our moments of heightened happiness and joy? Can God not reveal himself to us in our proudest moments of achievement, to stand by us in pride and solidarity at the things we have accomplished? Will a mother only stand by her child when the child is suffering and fallen? Will she not also want to be by the side of her child to witness his greatness, his achievement?Does God only come to the self-loathing, self-depracting, suffering leper?

Sophia: Preguntas buenas...First off, I ask you what artist (Michelangelo, Rodin, Van Gogh, etc) has not tortured himself, deprived their body and abstained from all (common consensus as source of) joy and happiness, for the sake of his art, which is inseperable from his life? What immense tortures did Romeo and Juliet put themselves through to get to the person they loved? Second, yes, of course the mother will stand with her child in joy, but how much closer is she to her child, how much faster does she quicken to his side when he is crying, bleeding or suffering. How strong their bond becomes in suffering, and how quickly she will rush to her sad child...

Lookin' up a bit on Physics...

Today, universities have science classes galore on all phases of the mechanics of the universe, from black holes to bacteria. Unfortunetely, scientific investigation stops at an account of how the universe functions. It can go no further.

-Gerald Schroeder B.S., M. S., Ph.D.
Physics Prof. MIT

Silencio

To learn the secret of the Unseen
is only fitting for that one
who can seal her lips and keep silent.

-Mathnawi [III, 3387]

If I desire to find out anything about Quantum Mechanics for myself, I need to seek it out- in the traditional methods of science. If I desire to find out anything about God for myself, I need to seek Him out-in the traditional methods of religion, like everyone before me. Why do you ask if I'm serious? Of course.

45 Mercy Street

Anne Sexton rocks.

From : Holly Krause
Sent : Friday, June 10, 2005 2:41 PM
To : ink-blood@hotmail.com
Subject : RE:

oh, sophie dophie... about the descartes thing, he's just saying that "i think therefore i am" is a given and doesn't need to be arrived at syllogistically, because there necessarily needs to be a thinker in order for there to be thoughts...interesting that he notices that.....this guy's an atheist, right?....doesn't he see that creation is analogous like that? (creation exists, therefore there must be a creator).....that's still a syllogistic sentence though...oh, but with the descartes thing...how does he know thoughts exist and aren't doxa, if he cant trust anything else his senses tell him to be true...it seems thoughts would be just from another sense....plus, they could be coming from somewhere other than your own head, it seems....so i dont think "i think therefore i am" really is an axiom...

Well, that was a mean-spirited little blog I did there...reading back on it i was like "Whoa, sophia...chill out girl"... almost done reading the Bell Jar by slyvia plath which Holly loves and I figured anything she loves i'm going to love too...but, Holly, I'm not sure if i like it...it is such a clear reflection of me that it scares me, like does anyone really love a clear reflection of themself as if opening the pages is turning to see a mirror of myself-and so i don't know if i like how it grabs me and sucks me underwater with it and holds me there like i'm going to drown, too... as my lungs fill with water its vividly forcing me to hear words in my head-like my thoughts that someone plaigerized...

Still,
I imagined myself going to some priest-
I would be in black,
with my dead white face,
and I would throw myself at the priest's feet and say,
"O Father, help me."
-Plath, Sylvia

I'm Sick

...I can remember, even back to 1st grade when I was 6, telling my mom I was sick and staying home from school. But really, I wasen't lying. I said my head hurt. And it did. I think I was depressed-saying my head hurt was the only way I could express how I felt. I've always had touble explaining how I felt. Nobody ever got it. If my neck hurt I said throat by accident. The people, the silly games and everything and everyone made my head hurt, I think. And I was sick, sick of life, the way life was, even way back then. I got straight A's up til 5th grade, but I never could get why we were doing the things we were doing... Think and Do was the worst torture possible. I rememeber everyone hated Think and Do. A common moan would go up from our little group of 1st grade bodies, a common desperate sigh: "Take out your think and do." "Aaaaw-wah." Was it just a time filler for the teacher to do her grade book, maybe? Just give the kiddies a work book with pictures of Dick, Jane and Sally. Those pictures always looked so unreal. They were always bright, and mesmerizing. I liked the dog Spot, and Sally was funny and adventurous-but the rest of them seemed foreign, like aliens from planet Suburbia, 1955...
Anways I think I hated Dick (no pun intended). I dunno he just seemed so blah. Poor kid-no offense, that is, if you are real and reading this...

Silent Screaming

...Does anyone ever really say what they're feeling...? ...or what they're really thinking? I don't know if anyone ever answers honesty when some-one asks, 'How are you?' I usually look at the person..I try to figure out if they really want to know the answer...First of all does the person asking care at all? Secondly, do they ever actually wanna hear the truth about me and how I am?- or are they too afraid to think about it themselves?... why do they ask in the first place... I am about to go on a quest... I know God is, but I need to find him again, inside of me. I need him to exist in me completely or I do not exist at all, I simply breathe. The difference between breathing and living is in having him or not having him...isin't everything all or nothing? I either have everything or I have nothing...

Descartes

I think (...) I have thought of this before: he just made it famous first! ~his "Argument from the Origin of the Idea of God?" What do you think of it?

The Missing Premise

Jerry: No. My reasons for KNOWING with COMPLETE CERTAINTY that God does not exist goes well beyond our attempts at logic. I cannot sit here and type up my entire explanation. ...looked for God and answers in many other religions that I couldn't find in Christianity. I searched Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, Judaism... none sufficed. Some were better, some were worse than Christianity. Oh, which leads me to ask you this question: why do you only have faith in the belief (or conviction in the fact) that only your idea of the Christian God exists? Why only the "Jesus" and "Holy Spirit" God exists? Why not the God of Judaism, why not the Allah of Islam? Are those ideas of God as far-fetched to you as believing in Batman?! Hmmm..I shall end here. Look to my blog for the treatment of Anselm's argument. It's really a shabby argument disguised as intellectual reasoning.

Sophia: You asked earlier what secret knowledge or premise I had that made me believe? If I told you exactly why I know for sure, it might be impossible for me to explain without seeming insane. My knowledge of God is so personal that it would be hard for me to tell you without feeling like someone violated, like allowing a third party to come along and observe on your honey-moon (or maybe this analogy fails with you and you MPR's?). Or, maybe you will understand, since you explained you ex-believer state. As I see it: I am either insane or God exists. Those are my only logical conclusions. If you want to know the specifics of my missing premise, I will let you know: but I'd rather not post them online, if thats ok? Also, as you can see from my blog, I do not rule out the fact that if God existed (as I know he does), he would reveal himself to everyone and anyone who sought him, hence I find it fascinating to find reflections of the same understanding of God in say a Hindu or Moslem mystic. However, it is usually a commonality found, not in the "text-book- religion" of Hindu or Islam or whatever it be, but in the personal experience of God that mystics like Mirabai and in their prayers. I am not Moslem or Jewish however, because I believe that God established the Roman Catholic Church as the true church. Like I said I would be happy to tell you more specifically if you so desire... I want to know your explanation: Why, really, don't you believe?

Inside my Head as I walk in the Chapel

There's something in your eyes
Makes me wanna lose my self,
Makes me wanna lose myself in your heart,
There's something in your voice
That makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts
For the rest of my life
If you knew how lonely
My life has been
And how long
I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done
It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from

A window breaks down on lumdard street
And a siren rings in the night
But I'm all right cuz I have you here with me,
And I can almost see through the dark there is light
Well if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much

What He says:

I got a hole in me now
I got a scar I can talk about
Things in this world
They don’t make sense,
You should turn yourself around and come on home
come on home
come on home
For God sakes turn around

A Best-seller by Holly, Maria and Sophia

Next semester I am installing an audio recorder in Maria's car. Why? Because the 3 of us have such enthralling discussions! They will be recorded and then put into book form entitled Philosophy and Sex, considering this is all we talk about. With a title like that it'll def. be a best-seller! ;)

The Flaming Lips lyrics

What is the light
That you have
Shining all around you?
Is it chemically derived?
Cause if it’s natural
Something glowing from inside
Shining all around you
It’s potential has arrived
Looking into space, it surrounds you
Love is the place that you’re drawn to
Looking into space, it surrounds you
Love is the face that you’re drawn to
What is the light
That you have
Shining all around you?
Is it chemically derived?

Prayer of a Moslem

O Love,
O pure deep love,
be here, be now.
Be all;
worlds dissolve
into your stainless endless radiance,
Frail living leaves burn with you
brighter than cold stars:
Make me your servant,
your breath, your core.

Within tears, find a hidden laughter;
seek treasure amid ruins, sincere one.

-Mathnawi

Batter my heart, three-personed God; for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurped town, to another due,
Labor to admit you, but O, to no end;
Reason,
your viceroy in me,
me should defend,
but is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy.

Divorce me, untie or break that knot again!

Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor even chaste,
except you ravish me.

poor Dad . . .

. .. apparently I kept him up by the sound of my laughter (talking on the phone with Holly 'til 12:30 AM)! But he diden't tell me to be quiet . . ..

Jaded by Ergo Sum

Come like the wind
Floating o'er the fields
Like a lark
Entice me,
Intoxicated by your opiate voice
Take me with you
Where I might feel warm light
Burning bright
Soft and gentle,
Like touching the surface of water
In the stillness of hypnosis
Let me know the resolute strides of
Unwasted movement, swift and strong,
Like a leopard chasing his prey,
Let me be
The indifferent sleep of a jaded cat.
Take me...
just take me
And the Rest will come.

June 16, 1985

Todaaaaaaaaaay, 20 years ago, I was BAPTIZED!

Beauty is Truth

Ergo Sum,
Are you saying that when you feel or experience something beautiful it liberates you? Because if you are then I am not disagreeing with you. What I am saying is that, more fully, it tortures and fulfills. When the beautiful moment is infused with the awareness of its termination, or, what I mean is, if I have an awareness not only of the present, but unify every experience with the past and relate it to the future...having not a one-dimensional experience: 3-Dimensional it will be a combination of many experiences, bliss, sadness, expectancy, loss, ecstasy...and overall a more human and less animalistic experience...well...I guess you are more the surrealist. I am more the John Keats of the two of us. You focus on the moment as it happens and suck the life out of it and make the moment everything, perhaps? I think John Keats had a constant realization of the imminent termination of the moment, and as such the beautiful, even as it was, became painful. Earthly beauty which you say is good enough for you, is not good enough for me, because everything of earth ends. I am not satisfied with finity; with the earth you say is big enough for you. So, feel free to be satisfied with it. I, however, refuse to be satisfied with dissatisfaction.

Convo w/ex-atheist

Shekinah685: hello
LAC Astronomer: hello
LAC Astronomer: who is this?
Shekinah685: oopsie sophia
LAC Astronomer: oh hi...new screen name?
Shekinah685: change dmy sn yeah lolShekinah685: got tired of the other oneShekinah685: :-D
LAC Astronomer: well...I don't know how you demonstrate the existance of God
LAC Astronomer: I don't think you can, really
Shekinah685: well -- theres gotta beShekinah685: in a nutshell
LAC Astronomer: well how would you think to do it?
Shekinah685: the first thing that pops into my head
Shekinah685: is you have a coffee cup in your hand lets say
Shekinah685: you can't have coffee in it unless, say the waitresss pours it
Shekinah685: or you
Shekinah685: the point is
Shekinah685: coffee nevr ends up in the cup
Shekinah685: theres always some mover
LAC Astronomer: unless someone puts it there
Shekinah685: yup
LAC Astronomer: yeah...so the first mover argument
Shekinah685: it make sense but is it too simplified?
LAC Astronomer: well
Shekinah685: like can we apply that principle universally?
LAC Astronomer: I'm not sure...my Love in Antiquity prof said that it used to be a good argument, until we discovered gravity
LAC Astronomer: that gravity keeps the world moving, not God
LAC Astronomer: but I think he's wrong
Shekinah685: yeah what else did that guy say
Shekinah685: yer prof?
Astronomer: the one who said Catholicism is based on Aristotle's bad science
Shekinah685: i thought he was gonna move on to a better proof
Shekinah685: lol
Shekinah685: guess not
Shekinah685: aaaaaaah
LAC Astronomer: no...he didn't
Astronomer: but I think the first mover works, at least, to make an atheist reconsider atheism, though he may just become an agnostic
Shekinah685:hmmm i'll see what happens..
LAC Astronomer: well...how did the universe get here? by random chance? or by creation by God?
Astronomer: but an atheist should realize, at least, that there's no better argument for random chance then there is for creation
Shekinah685: what creation exists hence creator must exist?
LAC Astronomer: well...that is true
LAC Astronomer: but if the world had come into existence by random chance, it would have come into existence by random chance...the belief that the universe exists with no cause is simply an article of faith
Shekinah685:how so
LAC Astronomer: well...a theist can't say "God must exist...because if he didn't, things would be different like this"
LAC Astronomer: and an atheist can't say the opposite
LAC Astronomer: because the universe is as it is...and it's merely an argument about how it got that way
LAC Astronomer: I mean...we don't have anything to compare it to
LAC Astronomer: if we had a bunch of universes...some random and some made by a deity
LAC Astronomer: then we could say "well this one is a lot like that other one that God made"
LAC Astronomer: but...we can't
LAC Astronomer: does the atheist in question deny the existence of God, or merely deny knowledge of the existence of God?
Shekinah685: he says he cannot logically prove his existence
Shekinah685: too many contradictions
Shekinah685: in his reasoning
LAC Astronomer: he can't logically prove God's existance, or his own?
LAC Astronomer: if it's his own....then good luck arguing with him!
LAC Astronomer: if it's God's
LAC Astronomer: then I suppose he would say that he only believes in things he can prove
LAC Astronomer: in which case he is quite limited in what he can believe....
Shekinah685: exactly, can't prove God's existence
LAC Astronomer: because even logic is based on faith...faith that rationality can explain things, that the universe doesn't work at random
Shekinah685: i don't thin it s 100% definable
Shekinah685: *think
Shekinah685: but you used to think what, that you culden't prove God's existence?LAC Astronomer: when I was an atheist? I had no arguments...I just believed what my mom told me
LAC Astronomer: my atheism was all faith
Shekinah685: whoa
Shekinah685: interesting
Shekinah685: so how did you know? that she was wrong
LAC Astronomer: to tell the truth...I decided to believe in God
Shekinah685: but why?LAC Astronomer: because I couldn't grasp non-existance
LAC Astronomer: I couldn't understand what seperates a body that is alive and aware from one that isn't
Shekinah685: keep going... whaddaya mean
LAC Astronomer: death
Shekinah685: so how does death show God's existence to you?
LAC Astronomer: in the instance of death, the body is essentially the same matter
Shekinah685: yeah..
LAC Astronomer: well..it doesn't directly
Shekinah685: i see..go on
Shekinah685: thats my idea too
Shekinah685: actually
LAC Astronomer: I felt that it's evidence for the supernatural
Shekinah685: only in a differnt setting but don't let me interupt
Shekinah685: that certain chemicals together are dead and cetain are alive
Shekinah685: but in some instances they are the same
LAC Astronomer: I mean...the difference between a living person in a hospital bed, and the dead corpse a second later
LAC Astronomer: yes, exactly
Shekinah685: here's what i think: you see something beautiful
LAC Astronomer: the blood stops flowing and the brain stops working...but why did it ever work
Shekinah685: why is it beutiful
Shekinah685: a bunch of atoms moving around
LAC Astronomer: yeah
Shekinah685: when i see something like a lightning storm
Shekinah685: why does it move me in an untangible way?
LAC Astronomer: yeah?
Shekinah685: yeah. like if i feel pain because of some inexpressibile beautiful thing---and in the first place why is it striking me as beautiful?
Shekinah685: where do i get the idea of the beautiful
Shekinah685: and then what makes these particular situations more or less: it seems there must be some complete form of beauty
LAC Astronomer: so if you're going to argue that there is a Form of beauty
Shekinah685: if i desire it
Shekinah685: it must exist
Shekinah685: this isin't jmy idea
LAC Astronomer: you must explain why some people see an ocean shore as closer to that form, and others see a desert as closer to the form
Astronomer: so the perfect beautiful thunderstorm
Shekinah685: yeah---why is this action of scientific processes beautiful--i could combine things under a microscope rather than look at the sky and it would be the same chemicals working but the reaction?
Shekinah685: also i have desires for the infinite
Shekinah685: for things to last forever
Shekinah685: why?
Shekinah685: if i desire food ..
Shekinah685: it exists
Shekinah685: if i desire sex
Shekinah685: it exists
LAC Astronomer: that is a good argument
Shekinah685: every desire has a fulfillment
Shekinah685: CS Lewis;-)
LAC Astronomer: yeah, I know :-)
Shekinah685: but my point was similar to yours
Shekinah685: oh HAHA:-D
Shekinah685: at least i diden't pull it off as my own
LAC Astronomer: but if I desire...a flying horse to ride on
LAC Astronomer: it doesn't exist...so I'm not sure that argument always works
Shekinah685: good point--what is it about the flying horse you want?
Shekinah685: maybe there is a desire for the infinite contained within the horse with wings
LAC Astronomer: well the thunderstorm argument makes sense
Shekinah685: why do you want to ride it honestly?
Shekinah685: why do you care about flying
LAC Astronomer: to get where I'm going quickly, and to be able to get up hills that I couldn't walk up
Shekinah685: that's it?
Shekinah685: you don't even think it would be fun?
LAC Astronomer: well I think it would
Shekinah685: yeah so ... what is fun even?
Shekinah685: why do you want it
LAC Astronomer: so it could be a desire for fun...that is, pleasure...which is just a shadow of the pleasure of heaven
Shekinah685: or pleasure...
Shekinah685: well you could put it that way, but what i mean is don't say heaven you know
Shekinah685: just say endless pleasure
Shekinah685: doesn't everyone want that
Shekinah685: why?
LAC Astronomer: yes
LAC Astronomer: that's the point of much of what we do
Shekinah685: exactly
Shekinah685: if there is NOTHING endless
Shekinah685: at all
Shekinah685: we woulden't seek endless-ness
LAC Astronomer: then our desires make no sense
Shekinah685: it doesn't
LAC Astronomer: it's on a higher level then the flying horse...that's a desire for something that doesn't exist but somehow could... a desire for things which can be accomplished
Shekinah685: ok but he made apoint about faith
Shekinah685: why do you think flying horses don't exist?
Shekinah685: why do you thik batman's fake?
LAC Astronomer: batman? well batman could exist, his methods are technological and with the right technology you could do what he does
Shekinah685: ok but his "supernatural" powers
LAC Astronomer: okay...like someone like Superman, why doesn't he exist
Shekinah685: how do you know?
Shekinah685: ;-)
LAC Astronomer: I don't know...he may exist
LAC Astronomer: he's an alien...the universe is large
Shekinah685: you really think?-hey, its true
Shekinah685: no-one has ever shown that he doesn't
Shekinah685: it seems plausibleShekinah685: honestly... its a good point
LAC Astronomer: in fact, many atheists believe in aliens...aliens with greater powers (through technology) than we have
LAC Astronomer: so you can have God without Superman
LAC Astronomer: and Superman without God
Shekinah685: but it doesn't relate to the fact that God's existence is demonstrable
Shekinah685: i don't think
Shekinah685: start from scratch can we?Shekinah685: you are a little boyShekinah685: yourmmom tells you God does not existShekinah685: what happens in your headShekinah685: ?Shekinah685: ( i wanna know since you were that little boy)
LAC Astronomer: I think..."Mommy used to believe in God, then she found out God doesn't exist"
LAC Astronomer: I didn't give critical thinking to her arguments...I merely believed them cause I figured she would know
Shekinah685: hmmm...you trusted her like you trust scientists...: okShekinah685: i dunno
LAC Astronomer: I only found out I was an atheist when I started asking what Christmas was
LAC Astronomer: but...I did know about good and evil
...Shekinah685: did your mom tell you about that?
LAC Astronomer: she did, eventually
LAC Astronomer: but I knew it before
Shekinah685: how?
LAC Astronomer: I was afraid of the dark cause I thought evil things could find me there
Shekinah685: :-D me too
Shekinah685: dark=lack of light=lack of a due good=evil? LOL
Shekinah685: quite the little Thomist
Shekinah685: so go on
LAC Astronomer: haha...I suppose I was a little thomist...(in fact one of the streets we always took to get to my grandparent's house is called San Tomas Aquino)
Shekinah685: :-DShekinah685: i'm not a Thomist tho, lol
LAC Astronomer: I had a natural belief in the supernatural, I suppose is what I'm saying
Shekinah685: yeah exactly
LAC Astronomer: I had never heard of God, so I didn't think of Him
Shekinah685: okShekinah685: good
LAC Astronomer: but I had thought there could be good things to counter the evil things
Shekinah685: so you existed- you never thought of God
Shekinah685: what did you think aboutShekinah685: honestly?
LAC Astronomer: when I was little...I thought about space a lot
LAC Astronomer: like astronomy
Shekinah685: spaaaace! awesome
Shekinah685: why space io wonder?
LAC Astronomer: why space? because I thought I was smart...and I thought smart kids should like science
Shekinah685: HAHAAHAHA
LAC Astronomer: but the only science I knew about
: ok so when you got older..Shekinah685: what went on in your ehadShekinah685: *head
LAC Astronomer: well...you mean when I began to believe in God?LAC Astronomer: or just...what did I think of when I got older
Shekinah685: no i want to go throught eh whole process before that
Shekinah685: second
Shekinah685: i want to see the natural progression of someone who is unaware of God
Shekinah685: so ..LAC Astronomer: well...I suppose the way to see this is the evolution of my worldview thenShekinah685: sureShekinah685: ..LAC Astronomer: I always, from as long as I can remember, knew about the concept of magicLAC Astronomer: I mean, I'm sure I was taught about it by television and such...but really, I can't remember not knowing about itShekinah685: ok..LAC Astronomer: in fact, my parents used it..."how will Santa get in?" "he'll use magic"LAC Astronomer: (I mean...they didn't actually practice witchcraft...they "used magic" to explain things to me)Shekinah685: ok..LAC Astronomer: well...that was a supernatural thing, and I believed it well enough, though I thought it was unavailiable to meLAC Astronomer: so...then when I started asking about Christmas I learned that I was supposed to be an atheistLAC Astronomer: this made me "realize" the supernatural wasn't true
Shekinah685: uhuh
LAC Astronomer: once I found out that there was a concept of God, and moreover that I didn't believe in Him, I realized that there couldn't be anything beyond the world
LAC Astronomer: but I was still afraid of it
LAC Astronomer: of evil, supernatural things
LAC Astronomer: it went away for a while, until my friends in kindergarten told me about monsters that lived underground and would turn me into a monster if they found me at night
Shekinah685: uhuh
LAC Astronomer: so...I was always uneasy with dismissing the supernatural
Shekinah685: gotcha: so you were uneasy dismissing supernatural
LAC Astronomer: Astronomer: so the thing that really convinced me was the non-existance thing
Shekinah685: whendid yout hinki of this
LAC Astronomer: the idea of death being the end of things
LAC Astronomer: freshman year in highschool
Shekinah685: ok so the whole "this is a dead body, what is it that makes it be alive"
LAC Astronomer: (though I should confess...I had a strict moral code all my life that made me sympathetic to religious people)Shekinah685: really?LAC Astronomer: yes
Shekinah685: but you came up with this mroal code how?
LAC Astronomer: I don't know
LAC Astronomer: mostly what my parents told me, and what I took from it
LAC Astronomer: I often expanded it
Shekinah685: hmmmm..u did..
LAC Astronomer: I learned about sex, and they said that really, only married people should have sex
Shekinah685: they did?
LAC Astronomer: yes, they did...they have rather strict morals themselvesLAC Astronomer: but they maintain them without really thinking about their originsLAC Astronomer: it's selective Christian morals, reallyShekinah685: well it seems odd to have christian morals without the chirst aspectLAC Astronomer: but...I took that to mean that only married people should ever have sex, and that it's really only for the purpose of having children (part of this was my childlike revulsion towards sex, of course)
LAC Astronomer: yes...they simply have an idea of a "good person" and what a good person is like
LAC Astronomer: but it's not fully Christian
LAC Astronomer: for instance, my mom does not really believe in repentance and forgiveness...if I wrong her then say "i'm sorry" she'll say "what does sorry do?"
Shekinah685: ok i just thougth o fsomething
LAC Astronomer: yeah?
Shekinah685: it mat seem weirdShekinah685: but bear with me
LAC Astronomer: okayShekinah685: ok so like originally when i was a kid some one told me when i was 8 what sex was, just generally no specifics and my reaction was "eeeeeuuuw.. people do that????" but this was before i was aware of the unitive aspect of it or just before i became aware that certain desires were flfilled in certain ways now say with God...we might have an initial revulsion to his existence which i sperfectly natural because we can't see him just as int he same way initally we don't see the beauty of sex
Shekinah685: my point is
Shekinah685: there is avision lacking in both instances
LAC Astronomer: that doesn't seem weird, that seems right
Shekinah685: we jsut didne't see
Shekinah685: right?
LAC Astronomer: yes
Shekinah685: hmmm
LAC Astronomer: but is there really a revulsion to God?
Shekinah685: maybe not revulsion but a contestation
LAC Astronomer: yes...you hear about God and you think "Whaaaaa?" similar to what you think when you hear about sex for the first time
Shekinah685: but maybe like general knowledge of God is confusing just as general knowledge of sex cuz both seem weird at first
Shekinah685: yeah! i mean would any atheist ever contest the eixstence of sex??!?!?Shekinah685: just cuz its initially confusing when u first hear of it
LAC Astronomer: but God is not as immediately evident as sex...you can't show someone a picture of God (you shouldn't show them pictures of sex either, but you technically could)
Shekinah685: hmmm
Shekinah685: BUTShekinah685: tell the atheist to explain the experience...someone who has bnever experienced sex STILL won't get it fully just like an atheist has never experienced God so he won't get it
Shekinah685: i mean someone like the clueless litlle kid, so atheist are like virgins LOL
LAC Astronomer: yes...so you won't understand God unless you experience Him...that's true
LAC Astronomer: but then again, the atheist will say "I've never experienced God, and I don't believe that you have either"
Shekinah685: and you can't see a picture of Him but you can see his effects
LAC Astronomer: "you think you have, but really you haven't"
Shekinah685: ok..well..you exist i tell him because of some-ones else's actions yer parents? :-)
Shekinah685: ok well the whole picture of God thingShekinah685: how do you explain thatLAC Astronomer: well, how do I explain it?
Shekinah685: i dunno how to exlpain that -here hold on heres the question
Shekinah685:
Ergo Sum: If both are unseen facts, why do I accept one and not the other? Why does my logic, reasoning, and intelligence lead to recognize the Eiffel Tower as true existence and does not lead me to believe in God as any true existence? ANd HOW COME YOU BELIEVE IT? What secret premise of logic or reasoning you have that I am missing? What more do you know about the fact of God's existence and the existence of the Eiffel Tower that I lack??? Could it be FAITH?
Shekinah685: thats himShekinah685: what would you say
LAC Astronomer: I would say "yes"
Shekinah685: cuz if you say faith that will not help at all
Shekinah685: he sees faith as illogical
LAC Astronomer: I'm willing to trust that God exists without having proof
Shekinah685: you are?
Shekinah685: i'm not
Shekinah685: i eamn "proof"
Shekinah685: in what sense
LAC Astronomer: well then he should stop having faith...he can stop having faith in science, he can stop having faith that his life is not a dream
LAC Astronomer: I mean...absolute, inarguable proof for God's existence
Shekinah685: ok..gotcha
LAC Astronomer: I believe that the way the universe is points to God
Shekinah685: exactly
LAC Astronomer: because I believe that God made it...but if I didn't first believe that God made it I don't know what I would say about the things that seem to point to GodShekinah685: ok i gotta go but we can continue this in a littel bit? Oh yeah, and about the picture of GOd. NO we can't show a picture of God. but, say your parents are dead ( not saying God is dead) ok say I've never met your parents!!! you don't have a picture of them..but i know they exist...would I ever question their existence-no. why? because you are here!!! you are the effect of their existence...

Ergo Sum: If both are unseen facts, why do I accept one and not the other? Why does my logic, reasoning, and intelligence lead to recognize the Eiffel Tower as true existence and does not lead me to believe in God as any true existence? ANd HOW COME YOU BELIEVE IT? What secret premise of logic or reasoning you have that I am missing? What more do you know about the fact of God's existence and the existence of the Eiffel Tower that I lack??? Could it be FAITH?

Me: These are wonderful, wonderful questions- you ask all the right questions-you are just so fascinating. The simple answer is you have not seen God's existence demonstrated as you have seen the Eiffel tower's demonstrated.

Song Lyrics

AlegriaCome un lampo di vitaAlegriaCome un pazzo gridarAlegriaDel delittuoso gridoBela ruggente pena,SerenCome la rabbia di amarAlegriaCome un assalto di gioia

Alegria
I see a spark of life shining
Alegria
I hear a young minstrel sing
Alegria
Beautiful roaring scream
Of joy and sorrow,
So extreme
There is a love in me raging
Alegria
A joyous,
Magical feeling

Finity

The sky would make love to me

with gentle fingers of wind-born light.

Faith, cont'd.

Ergo Sum: I'm sure, without me having to elaborate too much on this, you realize how absurdly general this definition of faith is. A conviction of things unseen -- I have not seen a Batman in real life. But can I truly hold on to a conviction of his existence? I could according to this definition of faith. The definition is incapable of distinguishing between faith and fantasy!

I agree, this is a very general definition. However, to your point of its absurdity: Does Batman exist? Well, obviously not: he's fictional. Belief in Batman is not faith, not a conviction of things unseen, but conviction of things non-existant! Faith in Batman would not be to have faith in the real sense. To have faith is to say "I believe in ______," blank being what is. You posit that this, if true, would make null the neccesity of faith. Initially, it would seem so. However, more specifically, faith sometimes requires the acceptance of what is, despite appearences to the contrary. Take your beliefs. You believe the sun does not revolve around the earth, despite initial appearences. Why? Astronomers have demonstrated logically the evidence for this truth and pointed to its probablity. Faith involves a similar process of reasoning. You have never watched the dance of the spheres- yet you believe it occurs in a certain manner. You have conviction of things unseen, despite initial appearences to a contradiction between what you believe and what you initially see. The science of the spheres we call Astronomy; the science of God we call Theology.

Its scary...

...to feel nothing...seems akin to death-but much worse...because one cannot escape the breathing process and so the lungs imprisoned in their bone cages continue their daily servitude to air...

Hmm...

Is the feeling of feeling nothing a feeling?

Commitment

just went to a marketing conference where a 22 year old guy gave a talk on commitment. (yes, you read correctly) the first thing he said was "I'm afraid to give this talk- because commitment- its a scary thing." he then read the dictionary definition. it included the "binding of oneself" to an idea. but of course this was insufficient. commitment often involves the binding of oneself to a person... he stood on stage, proud and strong, in front of 1000 college kids... "when i think of commitment, when i think of being bound to something...i think of jesus christ, crucified to the cross.." awed, i thought of the fruition and fulfillment of what commitment means...to bind oneself to the cross, to kiss the cross for the sake of love.

06/13/2005

To Ergo Sum:
"It is not an excess of criticism that embitters the world, but an absence of self criticism." - G.K. Chesterton

In other words i wanna say "I'm sorry for my inherent arrogance."


Yes. You are right. The following is what the dictionary and even what many Christians think faith to be. But, the dictionary is not dogma, nor my faith, nor is what the dictionary writer defines to be neccesarily true. Obviously, not all dictionary definitions are complete. We cannot take Webster ex cathedra, and I am sure you, as a reasoning and logical man would agree. I think, that in this definition lies the major conflict between our perceptions of what faith really is, safely assuming I represent the believer and you the atheist. The Merriem Webster definition follows, (wherein lies my disagreement with you):

Faith -- firm belief in something for which there is no proof, something believed especially on personal conviction.

My main problem is in the "no proof" aspect of the definition.There must be a degree of vision required for every conviction. You love your mother. She loves you. Can you prove that? Is the love itself tangible? Can something intangible be proven, evidenced, incarnate? I think its safe to assume that, your love, mainly something intangible, is physically evidenced! What makes you convicted of that intangible reality? Faith, as Paul defines it, and not the dictionary, is the conviction of things unseen. You, yourself, I know, are convicted of many unseen things, are you not? And who is to say that you have "no proof" for something you believe by faith. Conviction, again, comes from apprehension of truth. Faith is the acceptance of reality. Reality, as we already touched on, is , however, not always blatantly clear? Also, I just need to make a disclaimer here, which i should have done originally: I AM WRONG ABOUT MANY MANY THINGS! I DON'T CLAIM TO KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT! Just tryin' to think things through as they make sense, thats all.

post scriptum
please do not infer from the disclaimer that i am not trying to convinve you of God's existence: I am!

Faith and Reason

Ergo Sum said... You are quite a challenge! I love the intellectual joust!

ME: thanks! :)
7:44 PM

Ergo Sum:
Well, you have made two different statements concerning our efforts at understanding God. First you said, "one can rightly NEVER say ANYTHING of God..." Then you say, "we can never FULLY get at the essence of Him, we can merely come to a continually greater awareness of Him."THe two statements have very different implications. Initially, I used your first statement as a premise and logically built my argument. By the first statment, one can NEVER say ANYTHING rightly of God. In other words, one ALWAYS does say WRONG things about God...(OR, whenever one makes an effort to say ANYTHING about God one is ALWAYS WRONG). This is the implication of your first statement.The second statement now allows more room for discussion. It says that one can say SOME things rightly about God, but NOT everything TOTALLY. I fully and clearly understand this view and subscribe to this perception assuming the existence of a real God. Thus, as a scientist would try to understand physical experiences in increments, I try to understand (as much as is possible to my weak and finite brain) the concept of God in little increments of logic and rationality. THe reason I use logic and rationality as my method of investigation rather than acceptance based on faith is because I believe (similar to what Aquinas believed) that any concept of God SHOULD BY DEFINITION include the attributes of a perfectly Intelligent, perfectly Rational, and perfectly Logical Being. THus, a potential Being possessing such infinitely beautiful logic, infinitely profound intelligence, should atleast in some tiny and small way be perceivable to us by our serious attempts at being rational and logical to understand that Being (or come closer to an understanding of It).Contrary to popular neo-didactic thinking that Rationality and Faith do not necessarily contradict but are complementary, I believe that right from the most basic premise, rationality and faith enter into major conflicts.The basic and fundamental first principal of the Rational (or scientific) method is to assume a hypothesis and work towards disproving or falsifying that. One can never begin a hypothesis of negation and then prove its veracity, i.e. prove something is not true by showing that it has no evidence of being true. As a concrete example, I cannot assume that God does not exist and say there is no proof of God's existence and therefore He does not exist. This is wrong.I have to begin with a positive hypothesis and then DISPROVE or FALSIFY it. Thus, I begin by saying, Assume God exists. Therefore, going by what the definition of such an entity is that does exists... He should be this.. He should be that... He should whatever... Based on the first principal of positive hypothesis, you build a coherent, logical, rational argument derived from self-evident truths, apriori elements, axioms, or verifiable evidence. If all of your arguments lead you to a hypothesis contrary to the one you started out with, then you MUST DISCARD the initial hypothesis and revert to the Null hypothesis. Thus, a logical analysis of the concept of God leads me to major contradictions and therefore I must reject the hypothesis that God exists and accept the null hypothesis, or I must reject my essential definition of God.Now, Faith. Faith is the exact opposite of the rational method I just described. The method of Faith begins as such: Believe that God exists. Then show that God exists. Then express wonder at the fact that God exists. Then admire the fact that God exists.Faith starts out with the hypothesis that needs to be proven and assumes it is already TRUE! It then merely tries to JUSTIFY the "truthfulness" of that hypothesis.Aquinas, among other doctors, displayed this appalling laziness of thought. In their effort to reconcile faith with reason and put on a facade of intelligibility upon mysticism, they propagated this false notion. THe method works as such: Faith -- God exists and He has created this Universe. Then "rational proof": This Universe is so intelligent and orderly, surely there is an intelligent God that made all of this. THerefore, God must exist because the universe that we just assumed is so orderly and that we just assumed was made by God is the proof that God made the Universe and therefore must exist!!
11:48 AM

Me: i am sorry.my fault.by rightly i meant fully...accuretely.more later-no time now to write...again sorry my fault.
12:37 PM

ergo Sum: I believe (similar to what Aquinas believed) that any concept of God SHOULD BY DEFINITION include the attributes of a perfectly Intelligent, perfectly Rational, and perfectly Logical Being. THus, a potential Being possessing such infinitely beautiful logic, infinitely profound intelligence, should at least in some tiny and small way be perceivable to us by our serious attempts at being rational and logical to understand that Being (or come closer to an understanding of It).

Me: well said. i completely agree!!!
3:03 PM

Ergo Sum said...
A logical analysis of the concept of God leads me to major contradictions and therefore I must reject the hypothesis that God exists and accept the null hypothesis

Me: YOUR REASONING SEEMS "RIGHT ON." I have nothing to say- i agree. I also think very possibly the contradictions you have come across in you research and investigation as to God's existence may still have explanations. lets keep investigating, hmm?
3:07 PM

Ergo Sum said...
Now, Faith. Faith is the exact opposite of the rational method I just described. The method of Faith begins as such: Believe that God exists. Then show that God exists. Then express wonder at the fact that God exists. Then admire the fact that God exists.

Me: hmmm, i disagree with your definition of faith. faith is acceptance of what is. faith is not a blind thing. faith is 'the conviction of things unseen' well? where does a conviction come from? one must see evidence in order to be convinced. this evidence CAN and should include reason and logic, not exclude it. IF one is convinced, convicted, it must come from reasoning...reason leads to faith and faith should to reasoning...like aquinas!! he questioned everything about the faith that he could possibly come up with...but he was taught the faith and THEN questioned...but it can go either way i could question first and then accept...wither way their needs to be present a willingness to ask all the questions before accepting blindly..and so is every believer responsible for this..and must be ready to "give an account" logically, for what he believes...does this makes sense? i know i am very unclear and incoherent so forgive me for that...!! sorry!
3:13 PM

Ergo Sum said...
Aquinas, among other doctors, displayed this appalling laziness of thought. In their effort to reconcile faith with reason and put on a facade of intelligibility upon mysticism, they propagated this false notion. THe method works as such: Faith -- God exists and He has created this Universe. Then "rational proof": This Universe is so intelligent and orderly, surely there is an intelligent God that made all of this. THerefore, God must exist because the universe that we just assumed is so orderly and that we just assumed was made by God is the proof that God made the Universe and therefore must exist!!

Me: i am pretty sure you have something wrong with your idea of thomistic thinking...i will do some more research on his "proofs"...i know nothing off my head right now. i disagree with aquinas on a few points becasue he was wrong about some things. the point is...he may have had a flawed reasoning about something that you have seen and i haven't. if he did in this particular instance, the point i am making is just because he may have reasoned falsely in an instance doesn't mean God doesn't exist. it may imply solely that his particular "proof" or progressionof reasoning went off. also i think we should re-examine his actual thinking on this matter, as well. can you provide a quote of this particular "laziness of thinking." we should allow him to speak fo rhimself, rather than make claims and not investigate his actual writing?

Posted by Ergo Sum:

"Assume that "one can rightly NEVER say anything of God"... Then it logically follows that all and any sort of description or effort at explaining the concept and nature of God is entirely futile among both the believers and the Atheists..."

What I meant by that was . . . Assume for a moment that God does exist. He is infinite and we are not. Ipso facto, we can never fully get at the essence of Him, we can merely come to a continually greater awareness of Him. I'm sorry about my incoherence. If you could ever express the full nature of any one thing, say your a really great writer, or an amazing scientist, why is it that you can fully express it, what it is? It is a finite thing. Take for example, some thing which you know exists and is true, not neccesarily God, but anything. Can you ever fully express the fullness of that thing? Perhaps. I could probly fully explain scientifically, biologically, all aspects of a rock, I can get at the essence of rock. However, the next step, take love and emotion: It just gets harder to put into words the more meta-physical that thing is. Love is a noun. It exists. But can you really get at the essence of its mystery? And lastly, as far as the mind can ever stretch, to think of God, the concept of God. How much harder then it is to express his nature. You can get pretty close and not be wrong, you're just not able to get at it fully, in words.

"...but, the believers still believe despite any possible way of verifying their beliefs (not through logic, not through objective experiences, not through rational, non-mystical, independent observation)..."

yes. Faith and reason may seem to conflict. Where specifically do you see the conflict between faith and reason?

Is it real?

What is reality? Is it what is, what you make is to be, or what is verses what you think is is?

Long Branch Musings (email excerpt)

>whereas, if you are just a passenger you can watch the
>world go past and i have always felt, since i was little, that the
>car is actually not going forward but the world around you is
>actually speeding up and going past the car and that you are
>actually just standing still...lol...funny five year old musings...i
>really enjoy being the passenger because i always feel like that is
>such a peaceful time to pray or think and everything...and i love
>having all the windows down and feeling the loudness of the wind
>consume ..of the four elements: earth air fire and
>water...i don't think i cold choose a favorite between fire water
>and air..they are each so fascinating...and the sky...its like a tortuorously beautiful enclosure --as if we are all
>under house arrest and cannot ever break out, like an enormous trumann show where we all need to find reality
'til our true native land we see...
>Sincerely,
>a prisoner of earth...

Driving, driving, all the way to Easton, PA

When your driving along on 287 S, and all of a sudden you see a sign that says "EASTON, PA one mile," you might discover something about yourself- you may find yourself to be some-one like me...someone who notices she's missed her exit 40 minutes too late. And ends up driving farther and farther away from home, mesmerized by the magnetic force of beauty---by lightning storms dancing in the sky ahead and around of you. No rain. just an ocean of deep clouds ahead washing over me in slow waves of dark grey smoothness, and suddenly piercing me with the sharpness of sudden forks of blue, purple and reddish light, (shoot! is that a cop? oh.) What am i driving towards? It is not just the composite of elements. What is it about this particular conglomeration of light and sky and atoms and particles that wounds my heart with a piercing arrow of desire? why should it hurt me like a knife, which hurts in a tangible way, why this unfelt feeling? its not the elements i seek at all. i am driving towards love.

today i turn 20.

Holly Krause-an amazing writer, a better friend

Da: Holly Krause
Inviato: sabato 4 giugno 2005 0.54.04
A: sojourner43@hotmail.com
Oggetto: RE: HOLLY_I AM IN LOVE WITH AN ATHIEST I HAVE NEVER MET__HE POSTED THIS POEM!!!!!!!

Posta in arrivo
that's so funny~you found him on an ee cummings search...oh, soph, i emailed peter and he emailed me back and he really isnt going to christendom next year and i miss him so much and my soul is in a state of despair... a little part of me loves peteypoo...not like THAT...you know what i mean...remember rivendell? mountains and wine and swings and poetry?...sophie dophie, how can we just never ever have that again?...i thought when i visited christendom he would BE there and we could have more perfectly timeless times...haha...ya know?....oh, this is leaving my heart with a jagged edge...peteypoo!.... on to happier news: OH MY GOSH!... you HAVE to read the dumb ox. sophie DOPHIE!...chesterton is making me FUCKING LOVE AQUINAS!....suddenly o'herron's classes TOTALLY make sense....i'm in love with thomas aquinas....too bad he's um, dead....and he was a friar....yeah, that puts a crimp in things...

Clubbing-ism

Standin in the aisle of the Border's in Manassas, VA, I listened to a French DJ mix displayed in the 'trance music' section, holding the busted headphones onto my ears. Hey-its European-I can't escape the appeal of anything and everything from Europe! Instead of a steady tribal-esque rhythm pulsating into my ears, I suddenly hear a rush of light-infused sounds over which floats the calming and ethereal voice of a British woman : "Welcome to the world of nightlife. Parisian night-life is not just a weekend activity. It is a philosophy: it is a communion, it is a celebration... in unity with every club-goer around the world, from New York, to San Francisco to Paris." I was a little weirded out. This was creepy. This wasen't just about music. This was a religion even. The phrasing scarily reminded me of Catholic liturgical language: communion, celebration, union: all words professed by Catholics in describing the Mass. The mystic Meister Eckhart rushed to my mind: "Every time I run from God, I run into his bosom." No-one on this planet can escape their desire for God. Its obvious in every song, in every sad and weary face; in every soul containing an empty space. No-one can escape their own "sacramental nature." This nature is designed for that one moment, consummatum est, for consummation and completion. No matter where we go, we seek liturgy, communion, Him.